c. scott andreas

Day 1: I will pretend never to have heard of Twitter, fail to understand.

Day 2: I will refuse to talk to anyone who does not call themselves a rockstar, ninja, superstar, sniper, or code poet.

Day 3: I will defend the IE 5.5 UI to my death and laud its rendering engine with praise due to outstanding ActiveX integration and support for Java.

Day 4: My first words in every conversation will be, “Is there an iPhone app?”

Day 5: In any conversation with a developer, startup, or business dude, my first words will be: “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but here’s what you should do,” then mumble something about mobile web 2.0 advertising.